TOP TEN REASONS WHY REPUBLICANS SUCK

10. They're so incompetent they couldn't pour pee out of a boot if you wrote the instructions on the heel.

9. They lie like a rug. They lie like a dog. They lie like . . . ummm . . . a dog's rug. We mean, they just lie all the time.

8. They're a pack of crooks.

7. They are unbearably sanctimonious.

6. They have no sense of humor.

5. They're losing the war on terror.

4. They've put our economic future in Beijing's hands.

3. They steal elections.

2. Oh, yeah. They're destroying the planet, too.

1. They suck up to power.